Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
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