What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
Did Roman architecture emphasize forum over function?
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
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