I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?
He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Go to BabaMail
