What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
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