Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
Go to BabaMail
