When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.