What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.