Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.