Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.