When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.