Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.