What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.