What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.