What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”