What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.