What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!