What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.