What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.