Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”