What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.