What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.