What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”