What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.