What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.