What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.