A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.