What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.