How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.