How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.