Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”