What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.