What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.