What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.