What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.