What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.