What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."