Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.