What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.