Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.