Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!