Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict