Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!