What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.