Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.