Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.