Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.