Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.