Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.