Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict