What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.