Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.