What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,