Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.