What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?