How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!