How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”