What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.