What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.