The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.