What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.