Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.