What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.