What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.