What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you