What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.