Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.