Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.