What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.