What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.