Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!