What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”