Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!