What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.