Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.