What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
What is a crows favorite vegetable?
Corn on the caawb.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
Went on a walk today. Had a couple of crows following me around. I'm pretty sure I have the corvid.
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
Two crows land on a park bench.
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
Which bird is the most contented? The crow, because he never complains without caws.
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
Ever heard of Cawsmopolitan? It is one of the best magazines for crows.
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK".
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
Crowing, crowing, gone.