Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
What do crows read? Cawmics.
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
What is a crows favorite vegetable?
Corn on the caawb.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
I can’t believe that during the attempted murder, John Crow, Russel Crow and Sheryl Crow were all in the room.
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
The cawllarborne of the skinny crow was so pronounced.
What do you call it when a raven marries a crow? A conspiracy to commit to murder.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
Ever heard of Cawsmopolitan? It is one of the best magazines for crows.
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
A crow’s favorite nutty dessert is Pecawn Pie.
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?
It was Mass murder
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene