What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
I can’t believe that during the attempted murder, John Crow, Russel Crow and Sheryl Crow were all in the room.
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
Ever heard of Cawsmopolitan? It is one of the best magazines for crows.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
The cawllarborne of the skinny crow was so pronounced.
Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?
It was Mass murder
What did the crow decide to dress up as on Halloween? As a scarecrow.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
A crow’s favorite nutty dessert is Pecawn Pie.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
What is the popular computer game that crows play? Caw of Duty!
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.