A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
What would a crow wear to the Halloween party? A crown!
The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
The cawllarborne of the skinny crow was so pronounced.
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
What did the crow decide to dress up as on Halloween? As a scarecrow.
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
What do you call it when a raven marries a crow? A conspiracy to commit to murder.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
I saved a tiny baby crow and now he won't leave, I guess you could say he's mi-cro.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau