Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!