Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.