How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.