Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!