Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!