What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread