Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.