What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!