What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!