What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering