What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!