Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!