Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor