What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.