Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?
He was a quackhead.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I’ve ever seen.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda’d to its every whim!
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
Wolves love taking woofles for breakfast, they are sweet and amazing.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
I got invited to a costume party, so I went as a turtle.
I had a shell of a time.