What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches?
Because they don’t wear pants.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What do you call a nervous baby ant?
A little antsy.
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?
One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.