Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
Why don’t giraffes do drugs?
Because they’re naturally high.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
Something’s goat to give.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
What do you call a Tyrannosaurus under stress?
A nervous rex.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
I used to own a rabbit, but now he’s just some bunny that I used to know.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What did the river say when it saw beavers for the first time? “Well, I’ll be dammed.”
Had beaver curry last night.
Bit like a normal curry, just a little otter.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!