What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
What does Harry Potter use when sealing packages?
His Parceltongue.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
The next door beaver couple got arrested for illegal streaming.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?
Do you want some tea, Rex?
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.
I usually smoke Marlboro but hey... a deal's a deal.
Did you get to hear his new collection of wolf puns? They are howl-arious, absolutely rib cracking.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? Ptera Don
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
Why do bee keepers have beautiful eyes?
Because they hold bees. (Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder)
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.