What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
What do you call a handsome seal?
Mr. Seal Yo Girl.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!