My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
You cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo and you end up with a turtle
neck jumper.