How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
When a dinosaur gets a goal in a soccer tournament, it is known as a dino-score.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
How does an antisocial crow say about a family party? "It was murder".
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?
A little otter...
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
I don’t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, it’s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents.
One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.