When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
Why don’t giraffes do drugs?
Because they’re naturally high.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
We’ll need protracturtle in our next lesson since the topic will be angles.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.