Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ? Jurassic Pork!
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Why don`t ducks tell jokes when they fly?
Because they would quack up.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
Went on a walk today. Had a couple of crows following me around. I'm pretty sure I have the corvid.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.