What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
Why did the bunny bang his head on the piano? He was playing by ear!
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
What do you get when a duck bends over?
It’s Buttquack
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"