Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
Hannibal crossed the Alps because it was safer than crossing the elephants.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What do you call an ant that moves to another country?
An emigr-ant.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
Just finished my first shift as a lion impersonator.
It was a roaring success.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.