What medicine do you give to sick ants?
Antibiotics.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant.
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What has 6 legs, red hair, and flies?
No, seriously. This thing is scaring the heck out me.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat?
Santa Claws
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
We’ll need protracturtle in our next lesson since the topic will be angles.
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.