What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Went on a walk today. Had a couple of crows following me around. I'm pretty sure I have the corvid.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
How do you draw flies?
With a pencil!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What do you call a cross between a donkey and a zebra?
Debra.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.