What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
Did you get to hear his new collection of wolf puns? They are howl-arious, absolutely rib cracking.
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
An otter and an otter are in a car, who's driving? Animal Control
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What did the dolphin say to its friend who wouldn’t stop lying?
Stop spouting nonsense!
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...