What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
The zookeeper told me I wasn’t allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
All the girls I meet keep thinking I’m a sheep.
Every time they see me they say “Ewe”
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat….. Nuts.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing, bananas don’t talk.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.