What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Why don’t giraffes do drugs?
Because they’re naturally high.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I’ve ever seen.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
Just had Lobster Bisque for the first time!
It was souper good!