A beaver asked his fellow beavers to hurry up and said, "Water you waiting for, make haste."
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
The zookeeper told me I wasn’t allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.
What’s the sequel to that?
Fuller mouse!
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea