What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
I know this bird who was excluded from his flock for being too big
He was ostrich-sized.
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
Why did the magician have to cancel his show? Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
Just had Lobster Bisque for the first time!
It was souper good!
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for the grey hares.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.